Did you know your attachment style shapes how you relate to God? Psychologists of religion have identified three patterns of faith attachment — and one or two of them is yours.

Anxious attachment

If this is you, your faith feels intense but unstable. You worry God is disappointed in you, you pray desperately seeking reassurance, and doubt hits hard and fast.

Avoidant attachment

You believe in God, but from a distance. Faith feels more intellectual than personal. Vulnerability in prayer doesn’t come naturally, and you tend to rely on yourself more than you’d like to admit.

Secure attachment

This is where transformation happens. You trust God’s presence even in silence. You bring your full self to prayer — your doubts, fears, and all — and you rest in the relationship.

I wrote Bonding with God to show you exactly how, drawing on my work on attachment theory and the psychology of faith. Whether you find yourself in the anxious, avoidant, or secure pattern, there is a path forward.