Proximity Seeking: The First Step in Bonding with God

Bonding with God Series Proximity Seeking: The First Step in Bonding with God Episode 02  ·  Flourishing with Dr. Victor Counted About This Episode What if drawing near to God isn't just a spiritual discipline — but a deep psychological instinct woven into how you were made? In this episode of the Bonding with God series, Dr. Victor Counted unpacks proximity seeking — the most foundational step in forming a secure bond with God. Drawing from attachment theory and his new book Bonding with God (Baker Academic, 2026), Dr. Counted explores why human beings are neurologically and relationally wired to move toward a source of safety when life feels uncertain,…

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We Got the Order Wrong: How Christianity Traded Relationship for Religion

We Got the Order Wrong | The Flourishing Journal For generations, we have handed children doctrines before we gave them a living God to hold onto. The consequences are written in the data — and in the faces of those quietly walking away. VC Victor Counted, Ph.D. Associate Professor of Psychology · Regent University · Faculty Affiliate, Harvard Human Flourishing Program Walk into almost any evangelical church on any given Sunday, and you will see it at the end of the service — the altar call. The music softens. The lights dim slightly. A voice says something like, "If you want to give your life to Jesus tonight, repeat this…

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Attachment Theory and Spiritual Flourishing

Bonding with God — Author Discussion Author Discussion · Regent Library Gallery What does it really mean to bond with God in a way that transforms how we live, relate, and flourish? Regent Library Gallery & Online Victor Counted · Ward Davis · Corné Bekker In this special author discussion, Victor Counted sits down with Ward Davis and Corné Bekker to explore the intersection of attachment theory, faith, and spiritual flourishing — drawing from Bonding with God: Attachment Theory and the Psychology of Faith and engaging deeper questions about how our inner world shapes our relationship with God. 📘 Book Resources Order on Amazon

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What Attachment Theory Taught Me About Prayer

Your Prayer Life Is an Attachment Problem — The Flourishing Journal Video Feature Your Prayer Life Is an Attachment Problem VC Dr. Victor Counted Associate Professor of Psychology · Regent University · April 21, 2026 Most people who struggle with prayer assume the problem is discipline. They pray too little, too inconsistently, too distracted. So they try harder — more structure, earlier mornings, longer lists. And still, something feels missing. The distance remains. What if the problem isn't effort at all? "Prayer isn't a discipline problem. It's a bonding problem — and attachment theory helps us understand why." — Dr. Victor Counted What attachment has to do with prayer Attachment…

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Your Earliest Relationships May Have Shaped How You Experience God

Psychology · Faith · Human Flourishing Your Earliest Relationships May Have Shaped How You Experience God By Victor Counted, Ph.D. Professor, Author, and Psychologist There is a question most people never think to ask about their faith. It is not a theological question, but a psychological one: where did your felt experience of God come from? Not the doctrine you were taught or the catechism you memorized, but the actual texture of your relationship with God—whether He feels close or distant, welcoming or demanding, safe or unpredictable. For much of the history of psychology, that question was either dismissed or spiritualized. However, a growing body of research at the intersection…

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Bonding with God Book is Finally Here

Bonding with God Is Here | The Flourishing Journal The Flourishing Journal Bonding with GodIs Finally Here A word from the author on a book years in the making Victor Counted  ·  April 2026  ·  4 min read What if the way you relate to God is not a fixed fate, but a living story — one that can grow, heal, and flourish? Today is a day I have been quietly working toward for a long time. Bonding with God: Attachment Theory and the Psychology of Faith is now officially published and available through Baker Academic. This book began as a question — one that I kept returning to in…

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Healing Our Relationships Through Bonding with God

What If God Is the Safest Attachment Figure You've Never Let In? | Victor Counted Faith & Psychology What If God Is the Safest Attachment Figure You've Never Let In? How bonding with God can rewire the wounds that keep your relationships broken Victor Counted, Ph.D. Professor & Psychological Scientist · Regent University Most of us arrive at our adult relationships carrying invisible luggage — wounds from early experiences that shaped what we expect from the people we love most. We expect to be abandoned. We fear we will be betrayed. We quietly believe, somewhere beneath conscious thought, that we are simply not enough. These are not personality quirks. They…

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AI Will Never Master Spiritual Intelligence

The year 2025 was the year the "Cognitive Ceiling" shattered. We watched in a state of oscillating awe and anxiety as Large Language Models (LLMs) transitioned from mere chatbots to predictive engines capable of out-coding engineers, out-diagnosing doctors, and even simulating a hauntingly accurate version of human empathy. We have reached a point where, if you provide a machine with enough data, it can mimic almost any "horizontal" human function—analysis, summarization, and task-based logic. We are, indeed, currently living through the final, frantic days of a great misunderstanding. For decades, we have operated under the hubristic assumption that the human person is essentially a biological computer—a sophisticated data-processor that could…

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Why Attachment Science Can Help A Spiritually Hungry Generation Find God

All around us, people are searching for God again. Many are tired, confused, and unsure what to believe. They scroll through endless arguments online, watch churches divide over politics, and see leaders they once trusted fall. As we look toward 2026, this season already feels like a year of spiritual yearning. A quiet hunger is rising -- especially among young people -- to find something real and trustworthy to hold on to. Many want a faith that feels honest and not hypocritical. They are asking questions that come from their pain: Where is God when the world feels cruel? Why do hate and fear speak louder than love? Why do…

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