Division is the story we tell because it feels intelligible. It gives us sides, causes, villains, and talking points. Dysregulation is harder to face. It does not flatter anyone. It implicates environments, habits, and institutions rather than just beliefs. It suggests that something is wrong beneath the arguments, beneath the slogans, beneath the certainty -- at least, this is what motivational science teaches us.  We are not arguing from stable ground. We are arguing from bodies and minds that have been pushed beyond their capacity to settle. In psychology, regulation refers to the ability of a system to maintain balance while responding to change. One of the grand theories of…